She’s never been sure why she loves music so much.
She’s walking around campus like she owns the place, and tonight she might as well. There’s no one else out. It’s Friday, and it’s attempting to rain, so everyone is already either at a party or running for cover.
The rain’s too light to bother her.
The music is loud again tonight, powerful. It’s a rush of confidence that she really needs right now.
During the day she walks around with her head down, even with her friends, who are starting to piss her off a bit. They don’t seem to take her seriously at all anymore, if they ever did.
At night she can’t stop asking herself what she’s doing with her life, even though she knows she doesn’t have an answer. She’s afraid she never will.
Why can’t she cut herself a break?
Another song bounces into her ears, and she smiles wildly, letting the feelings flow through her, arm swinging up to run her hand through her hair. Her feet pound the ground as she attempts to keep pace with the music.
She faces the wind and laughs as raindrops splash her face.
Maybe the reason she loves music is because she’s looking for something to believe in.
Because she doesn’t believe in anything right now. Not her friends, not her world, not even herself. Everything, everybody lies to her, everyone gives up on her, and nobody tries to understand her anymore. She thought she had people. Now she’s only truly convinced she has two, one here but never available, and of course, one five hours away.
Maybe there was another.
She frowns despite the music.
That one only seemed to remember she existed when she reminded him.
It hadn’t always been that way.
Quite a blow to the confidence, and the mood.
She flips the song back to the beginning and lets the feelings wash over her again, cleansing her mind.
Music is true, most of the time. In really good songs, with really good artists, you can feel the honesty. The emotions you get from it are real. For that moment, you are living in someone else’s world.
Maybe that’s why she likes her reveries.
In those moments, she’s not herself. She’s not living in her world.
Maybe that’s why she only ever feels confident when there’s music playing.
She’s stealing someone else’s confidence.
If only she could feel like that all the time.
People don’t seem to like her having headphones on all the time though.
The song changes. This one doesn’t give her that rush that she’s craving.
Sure, some songs feel hollow. Sometimes artists are fake too.
She skips through those songs on her walks. She likes the ones that make her feel things.
Things she truly believes.
Another song, another surge of power, and she’s on her way again, smiling.